How to stay at home

Feel free to make your own suggestions. In fact, please do. I need more ideas.

1. Sell Yukon. Drive smaller car (scary)
2. Sell Chevy. Drive smaller car (still scary) and John can drive the Yukon
3. Sell John. He has a cute butt.
4. Sell body. Wait...that won't bring in much. Who wants a saggy boobed and saggy bellied woman?
5. Sell house...live in Yukon?
6. Take job being offered (kind of) that is closer to home and save the thousands in gas spent monthly with the commute. Pay off bills sooner.
7. Get pregnant again because John said I could stay at home if there were 2 (not counting him of course).